Jokes about Shorthand and Writers

[Deb]

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Please note: These were written in different times. If you're offended, just back out and never read again. Some were funny, some cringe worthy and others just stupid, but I thought I'd post them here for some fun and historical value.

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THE DEAR GIRLS

First employer—Why is it your stenographers do not take a vacation this year? Mine are always wanting off.
Second employer—Oh, that was easily remedied. You see when they got about ready to take their vacation I just hired a good looking clerk in the office and neither of the girls are willing to leave the field to the other one.

--shorthand typerwiter and news
books.google.com/books?id=0iowAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA202&dq=%22gregg+shorthand%22&lr=&as_brr=1&cd=34#v=onepage&q=%22gregg%20shorthand%22&f=false

[Deb]

The new typewriter

Inventor—I have invented a typewriter that will revolutionize the using of them.
Manufacturer—(Prospective purchaser of patent)—What kind of typewriter can it be?
Inventor—Well it has an adjustable mirror, powder compartment, manicure set build in and chewing gum holder complete.

from
shorthand typerwiter and news
page 152

books.google.com/books?id=0iowAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA202&dq=%22gregg+shorthand%22&lr=&as_brr=1&cd=34#v=onepage&q=%22gregg%20shorthand%22&f=false

[Deb]

GOOD PAY--FOR A WOMAN

Overheard in a cafe:
"You gotta hand it to that stenogrpaher of mine! Why, she ain't merely a stenographer and a private secretary--she can runmy whole blame business! Answers m' letters, makes suggestions for cuttin' down expenses--save me thousands o' dollars every year. She's got brians, that woman has!"
"How long you had her now?"
"Nearly ten years."
"Ain't yuh scared she'll get married and leave yuh?"
"Huh-uh. Not now. She's getting' along towards forty now, and she's been in business so long she's kind o' unattractive to men now. Them that she's have won't have her no more. So I guess she'll stay all right. Id on't know what I'd do without her any more--why, you know, I go off and leave the whole concern to her!"
"How much d'yuh pay her?"
"Twenty-three dollars a week."
"Gee! Ain't that pretty good pay for a woman?"
"Mebby it is--but she's taken over all young Blank's work now too, and she's doin' it better'n he did, and I had to pay that guy $65 a week."



books.google.com/books?id=0iowAAAAYAAJ&dq=gregg%20shorthand&pg=RA1-PA90#v=onepage&q=gregg%20shorthand&f=false

[Deb]

Sir:
My stenographer kept up with progress in aviation and had previously workedin a railroad office. I dictated: "The proof of heirship rests in parol." It came back to me transcribed: "The proof of airships rests in pay rool."
Your's Truly,
RWH

Dear Sir:
A lawyer, noted for his long words and bombastic phrases, dictated the following: "I was very much asamed and chagrined." His stenogrpaher produced this: "I was very much ashamed, and she grinned."
Very truly ours,
RTB


books.google.com/books?id=0iowAAAAYAAJ&dq=gregg%20shorthand&pg=RA1-PA110#v=onepage&q=gregg%20shorthand&f=false

[Deb]

For more fun on the Transcription that wasn't correct, check out post #4 here: www.greggshorthand.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=preface&action=display&thread=119

[Deb]

From "The American Shorthand Teacher 1922-01: Vol 2 Iss 5"

"Fine looking bevy of stenographers you have here!"
"Thanks."
"But why are they all red-headed?"
"Just an idea of our efficiency expert. He says it reduces the light bill fifty percent"