Please note: These were written in different times. If you're offended, just back out and never read again. Some were funny, some cringe worthy and others just stupid, but I thought I'd post them here for some fun and historical value.
THE DEAR GIRLS
First employer—Why is it your stenographers do not take a vacation this year? Mine are always wanting off. Second employer—Oh, that was easily remedied. You see when they got about ready to take their vacation I just hired a good looking clerk in the office and neither of the girls are willing to leave the field to the other one.
Inventor—I have invented a typewriter that will revolutionize the using of them. Manufacturer—(Prospective purchaser of patent)—What kind of typewriter can it be? Inventor—Well it has an adjustable mirror, powder compartment, manicure set build in and chewing gum holder complete.
Overheard in a cafe: "You gotta hand it to that stenogrpaher of mine! Why, she ain't merely a stenographer and a private secretary--she can runmy whole blame business! Answers m' letters, makes suggestions for cuttin' down expenses--save me thousands o' dollars every year. She's got brians, that woman has!" "How long you had her now?" "Nearly ten years." "Ain't yuh scared she'll get married and leave yuh?" "Huh-uh. Not now. She's getting' along towards forty now, and she's been in business so long she's kind o' unattractive to men now. Them that she's have won't have her no more. So I guess she'll stay all right. Id on't know what I'd do without her any more--why, you know, I go off and leave the whole concern to her!" "How much d'yuh pay her?" "Twenty-three dollars a week." "Gee! Ain't that pretty good pay for a woman?" "Mebby it is--but she's taken over all young Blank's work now too, and she's doin' it better'n he did, and I had to pay that guy $65 a week."
Sir: My stenographer kept up with progress in aviation and had previously workedin a railroad office. I dictated: "The proof of heirship rests in parol." It came back to me transcribed: "The proof of airships rests in pay rool." Your's Truly, RWH
Dear Sir: A lawyer, noted for his long words and bombastic phrases, dictated the following: "I was very much asamed and chagrined." His stenogrpaher produced this: "I was very much ashamed, and she grinned." Very truly ours, RTB